2008 Woodie Awards
RSSTime to cut the cord?
By Dana Ryan
Issue date: 10/26/07 Section: Lifestyle
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Isn't college the time when students are supposed to be gaining independence instead of calling their mommies every five minutes to tell them what they had for lunch? Then there's the problem of helicopter parents who just can't let go. Some schools, like Cornell University, have even installed live-feed "Mom Cams" on prominent campus locations so parents can go online anytime to see what is happening on their student's quad at that very moment. With Family Weekend kicking off today, parents need not rely on a webcam or cell phone to catch up with their children.
Sociology professor Robert Rosenwein is currently teaching nine different graduate and undergraduate classes. He has worked at Lehigh for 35 years and has observed the relationships students have with their parents.
"The issue of the closeness of the students with their parents is really a question of the degree to which separation or closeness is part of the student working out who they are as a person," Rosenwein said.
For most, the formation of an identity is an important part of college because it is the first chance away from family and friends for a long period of time. Family members are people who students feel comfortable with and who offer a sense of protection. Suddenly, students are in this different environment, trying to make new friends and can no longer rush back to mom and dad at any moment. There is a degree of separation.
"The real issue is just how the two parties work on the issue of identity for the child," Rosenwein said. "The parent calling all the time in the beginning is appropriate to see how they are developing."
Andrew Zinkand, '11, said he thinks it is important for students to be independent.
"A very close relationship with your parents is more of a negative thing," Zinkand said. "It's great to know your parents are there if you ever need them, but you're better off getting by on your own. You don't want to become too dependent on them."
Yet the helicopter parent might be a good thing for certain students, especially early on.
However, for others it may become inappropriate as time goes on, in terms of letting students have the space to figure out who they are.
