The Brown & White

The quality of the relationship between children and their parents, and not the quantity of conflicts, affect children's development and the bond they share with their mothers, according to a Lehigh professor.

Dr. Deborah Laible, associate professor of psychology, has co-authored a study with Dr. Ross Thompson of the University of Nebraska-Lincoln that analyzed the bonds between mothers and children during the "terrible twos."

"Conflict between mothers and children can occur between 2 and 20 times an hour," Laible said. "The question is what projects these differences."

The goal of the study was to analyze the links between child temperament and the quality and frequency of mother-child conflict.

Laible and Thompson studied 64 mothers and children, all who participated in a series of laboratory tasks over a six-month period.

Each mother and child were given tasks that initiated conflict and the resolution was observed and then analyzed.

When the children were 30 months old they and their mothers were videotaped in a laboratory setting and six months later the family was tape-recorded at home to observe their dinner time interactions.

Tasks used to trigger conflict included hard puzzles, reading difficult books and instructing mothers to keep their child away from a shelf of toys and make them put away the other toys.

Laible and her colleagues found that nothing seemed to predict the frequency of conflicts that occurred.

"The frequency of arguments between moms and toddlers ranged from four to 55 times an hour," Laible said, "but the frequency had nothing to do with predicting the quality of their relationship, which I found interesting but very frustrating."

Laible and her team noted highly active children or those who frequently exhibited negative emotions were less likely to justify and resolve conflict with their mothers.

According to Laible, "both mother and child were less likely to aggravate the argument by insisting on their point of view without explaining it, teasing or engaging in other negative behavior."

Girls were more likely to submit to conflict and boys were more likely to simply say "no" to their mothers or cry, Laible said. Conflict was usually only resolved with the mothers submitting to their child and compromising a resolution.